Why Do We Bother with Arguments on Social Media?

            Anyone who has spent time on Facebook or Twitter has scrolled past long but meaningless arguments which served no purpose other than rousing the anger of whoever participated in or took the time to read them. I’d wager that most people who have spent a lot of time on these and other social media sites have participated in at least one of these disputes, even if they didn’t recognize it until after the fact. These squabbles often continue over dozens of comments and contain nothing but vitriol and slanted, ill-considered arguments that are usually laced with countless logical fallacies. Even the best of us can be dragged into one of these internet debates. These arguments are almost always fruitless, so why do so many of us still fall into the trap? If we are ever about to insert ourselves into any argument, we should first pause and ask ourselves a couple of questions.
The first question we should ask in making an argument, or, indeed, in any endeavor, is: What do I want to accomplish here? If your goal is to persuade the person to whom your comment is directed, you should ask yourself another question. When is the last time you were actually dissuaded from one of your views by a comment on social media? No matter how well worded your reply is, no matter how much time and thought you put into crafting the perfect response, you will not change the other person’s mind. If you really want to have an honest exchange about an issue, social media is the worst communication medium you can possibly use. On the other side of that screen is a human being with whom you disagree. All too often, at least one party (frequently more than one party) forgets this fact and lays into the other without any concern for how an actual person will respond. This starts a vicious cycle which, at best, will lead to your friend or follower becoming more entrenched in his or her own position. At worst, you may damage, or even lose, a relationship with someone you care about.
By no means do I suggest that if you disagree with something that someone says on social media then you should necessarily ignore it and move on. Sometimes that is exactly what you should do. If you know that you or your friend cannot have this discussion and remain calm and rational, then breaching the topic is probably not worth it. Having this discussion will just cause a rift between you and your friend and will likely make it harder for you or someone else to change his or her mind further down the road. However, if you believe your friend is mistaken on an important issue, and you know that both you and your friend can remain calm throughout the discussion, then by all means speak up. However, your protest should not be in the form of a comment. Instead, you should invite your friend to talk about it over lunch or a cup of coffee. This way, you will both be speaking to another person, rather than just typing out into the void that is the internet. You are much more likely to change the other person’s mind when talking face to face, than you are over Facebook. You are also more likely to treat the other person like a real person. Always remember to approach your friend with humility and honesty and try to see how he or she is thinking. Remember, you can’t change everyone’s mind, so be prepared to agree to disagree.
            If your goal is not to persuade, but to whip up some controversy or just to blow off some steam, then please just stop. Put your phone down and go do something else. Nearly anything else would be better than going down this path. It does feel good to troll people on social media, at least in the moment, but in the long run it will only give rise to tension and animosity. In the end, this will make it harder to convince others to join your side. This type of behavior is one of many factors that make our online environment so toxic. As Christians, we are called to be peacemakers. Matthew 5:9 (NASB) says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” This does not mean that Christians should become pacifists, or that they should silently assent to whatever harsh treatment they receive. Often the opposite is true. Christians should be the first to stand up against injustice, and we should be bold in advancing the things of God. However, Christians should never perpetuate unnecessary conflict for its own sake. We have enough problems in this world without trying to create new ones for ourselves.
R. Tate

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